1. When you hear something that pushes your buttons, keep listening instead of immediately trying to figure out a good argument. Don’t defend, listen.
  2. Don’t interrupt unless it is absolutely necessary. Being silent but attentive helps the other person get clear or vent.
  3. You might help someone vent or get clear by saying something like: “I’m interested in how you came to that position. Will you share your story with me?”
  4. If a person tells you something and then hesitates waiting for your response, you could say, “Tell me more about that,” or “is there more you want to say?”
  5. If a person has a problem and asks you, “What do you think I should do?” try to turn it back around to them, ask: “What’s your best guess?”
  6. Check your own listening, did you really understand what the other person was saying? Repeat what you’ve been hearing, “What I hear you say is…” This also helps them to hear themselves.
  7. The most important but difficult thing is to stay curious about what the other is saying rather than giving advice, trying to fix them, or even being their cheer leader. Being present with another person is enough. Try it and find out.